Tell Him What You Want.....

Ladies, tell him what you want. Don’t suppress what you want, don’t be afraid of rejection, don’t be embarrassed. Just tell him…

Tell him your expectations…
Tell him you want a man that smells good…
Tell him you want a man that dresses sexy…
Tell him you want him to be proud he has a woman as fine as you…
Tell him you love his touch…
Tell him you love his kiss…
Tell him his voice gives you shivers…
Tell him he’s handsome…
Tell him he’s sexy…
Tell him he’s fine…
Tell him he’s beautiful…
Tell him you want him…
Tell him he’s the only one that has made you feel the way you do…
Tell him you miss him…
Tell him you want to make love to him…
Tell him you want to f*#k him…
Tell him you fantasize about him all day…
Tell him what feels good…
Tell him you LOVE him.

Don’t be afraid to share yourself and love hard. Enjoy every minute of a love that is, was, or will be. Have no regrets. So many people give their all in everything they do, but stop short when it comes to love. Don’t be afraid to have your heart broken, it will heal. Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to say what you are feeling, because you may never get another opportunity. Embrace the feeling of being in like, lust, and love. Relish in that first kiss with someone, because it’s always the best one (for most!) and sets the tone of the relationship.

Don’t be afraid to explore one another- physically, spiritually, mentally. Stop hiding behind facades and be you. No one is asking for anything less or anything more. If you are not loved for you, then you are not loved at all.

Find that someone who makes your heart flutter and your stomach flip and burn at the same time, lol! Find that someone whose scent just makes you wanna… Find that someone who’s walk just makes you wanna…Find that someone whose voice just makes you wanna…Find that someone whose touch just makes you wanna…Find that someone whose smile just makes you wanna…

Don’t look for just a husband, look for a companion, a collaborator, a friend, a lover, a partner. Although a husband is supposed to be all of these things to his wife, he may not have the capacity to be your friend or a collaborator. Define who and what is right for you. Love yourself enough to know what is tolerable and what is not. Set your standards and boundaries. And do not let anyone knock you for it. Only you can determine if your standards are realistic or not. Get to know yourself before you look for a partner, collaborator, companion, fried, and lover. Find someone that complements you- make sure there is a balance present in your relationship. It’s not easy, but if you know you and what you will not settle for, you will have the time of your life before and when you find your man.

Don’t let friends and family pressure you to get married. Your age means nothing to that someone looking for you right now. Do what’s right for you when it’s right for you.

So many of us take love lightly, we take it for granted, we take advantage of it, until it comes back to bite us in the ass. Then we say love hurts, love is painful. Love doesn’t and cannot hurt. However, your pride can hurt love. Your jealousies can hurt love. Your disloyalty can hurt love. Your insecurities can hurt love. Your need to control can hurt love. Your abuse can hurt love. Love is a source of happiness, enjoyment, and fulfillment. It’s thrilling, contagious and intoxicating. Think of people you know where the love shines through so purely, you can’t help to smile and feel a smidge of what they are feeling. It’s a beautiful feeling!

Love your man with not only your heart; love him with your mind and body. Love him how you want to be loved. If it doesn’t work out, YOU can say you gave him the best of you.

Dear racists,

There was a recent incident in Maryland where two young, African American girls brutally and savagely assaulted a Caucasian ‘woman’. The initial response from some in the Caucasian community was this is a hate crime because the ‘woman’ is Caucasian. However, it goes a hell of a lot further than that! Here are some quotes of comments from LiveLeaks website about the attack:

“Even their women are out of control sub-human primates with a reactionary ape brain based on raw emotion. Someone should study them.”
“’Sub-human culture!! Pretty sad…’”
@Lost_Mind not so much “black society”/ it’s young, thug society. Look at the videos these people are raised on listen to their music.”
“All blacks are the same. Time for another lynching”
“Blacks are unforgiving, envious, with hate in there heart. All they need is to accept Jesus Christ and get born again, and allow the Holy Spirit cleanse there heart!”
“@Texasgene We don’t want them “born again” we want them gone!”

Ooooooookaaaaaay, this is gonna be a long post.

Racism, hate, prejudice, call it what you want…this is what I call it- IGNORANCE. Which is defined by Webster’s as a “lack of knowledge, education or awareness”.

First, I must say, I don’t understand racism. I never understood how people could hate each other because of the color of someone else’s skin. It sounds like the most childish thing I have ever heard. I can’t even sincerely call it childish, because children have no idea of how to be racist, unless they are TAUGHT. I’ll get to that in a minute. I know many people will say it goes further than the color of someone’s skin. What it boils down to is difference. We are all composed of bones, tissues, muscles, organs, skin, but we only differ in structure and color. What is there to hate about that? Why are people so afraid of difference? I don’t consider my physical self as different, but my beliefs, ideals, morals, and values are different. Is that what people are afraid of? Why can’t we each have our own without being hated? Why must a race be “pure”? Nothing in this universe is pure.

For the racists, who the hell are you to dictate who is pure, clean, unsanitary, and/or animal-like, to name a few? You are ignorant. That’s all. You have NO KNOWLEDEGE, NO EDUCATION, and YOU ARE UNAWARE. You have no, and I mean absolutely no idea, how other cultures live and the types of communities that are formed within. All you see is the negativity, which IS IN EVERY CULTURE. We can talk about the ghettoes, trailer parks, and all that. But they all have some negative element. The suburbs and rural areas have negative elements also.

Let me explain something to you, you are not better than a damn soul in this universe. You are not God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. Therefore, your judgment is shit to me and to most others. Your need to judge, means you need to be educated. And I’m not talking about reading a book. Immerse yourself in a culture, beside your own, and open your mind to something brand new. You’re a close-minded individual who allows the words, thoughts, values, morals and actions of your fellow haters to dictate who you are. Be your own man and do your research. After you have done your research and you still choose to hate, no one can say a damn thing to you, because you are now knowledgeable, aware and educated.

Racists are the most unoriginal mfer’s I care not read about. Are African Americans still really ape-like? Where did you LEARN this? Oh, by the way, apes are very intelligent creatures; however, I am not bothered because you compare African Americans to apes, but because, again you are unknowledgeable, unaware and uneducated. This is becoming a recurring theme, which is leading me to question YOUR intelligence. Apes protect what’s theirs. And who wouldn’t? Wouldn’t you? If you answered yes, and you think are intelligent, you too are now ape-like! Grow up and cut the petty name calling. You want to name call, call it what it is. Don’t generalize your hatred on an entire culture for the actions of some. Cause I will tell you right now, I am NOT what you claim all African Americans are. Let me make an assumption, your excuse for me and the millions of other intelligent, successful, African Americans is we are/were lucky. We had a Caucasian individual take us under their wing out of the kindness of their heart. To hell with you on that! Whatever I have today came from my grandparent’s, parent’s, and my blood, sweat and tears. Again, you make unknowledgeable, unaware, and uneducated assumptions. *sighs*

Anyway, the above comments go on to identify African American’s as sub-human. Subhuman, is defined by Webster’s as, “less than human: as a : failing to attain the level (as of morality or intelligence) associated with normal human beings b : unsuitable to or unfit for human beings c : of or relating to a taxonomic group lower than that of humans ”. Human is defined Webster’s as, “1: of, relating to, or characteristic of humans; 2: consisting of humans; 3 a: having human form or attributes b : susceptible to or representative of the sympathies and frailties of human nature”.

There are levels of human characteristics, so how is human really defined? You know what, I truly don’t know. But I know it’s different for every person, otherwise I wouldn’t be discussing this right now. So being human or subhuman is relative. There is no absolute. So according to your definition of human, the actions of “my people” may be subhuman based on how YOU define human. Ok, fair enough. So based on my definition of human- compassion, caring, understanding, having upstanding values and morals, all that good stuff, you are completely subhuman. Wow, I got it that fast, because I educated myself, made myself knowledgeable, and made myself aware of how “your people” define human and subhuman. Just a little research.

Now, let’s talk about the videos and music. Come on, you guys always say the heavy metal didn’t make the Colombine boys kill; Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, they don’t cause people to kill. Music has nothing to do with it. If someone claims that was the cause of their actions, then they are mentally ill. But tell me what ‘our’ music says and what our videos show, that creates such a ‘subhuman’ culture? I don’t hear songs or see videos about murdering, raping, torturing, and committing other kinds of sinister acts in ‘our’ music. It’s just another excuse. You got nothing.

You talk about Christian behavior, my goodness, I don’t want to worship the God you worship. If your God tells you to hate, degrade, harm and kill, you can have him.

The crime I mentioned about is a hate crime, but a crime based on gender identity, not race. You jumped the gun again, I tell ya. You forgot to educate, become knowledgeable, and make yourself aware of the situation before you began to spew your hatred.

Your behavior and actions are learned just like every one else’s. It’s time to make up your own mind and realize you have wasted your life away hating, assaulting, raping, and possibly murdering people based on false pretenses. Who here really has the unforgiving, envious, hate filled heart?


Sincerely,

How Can We Save Our Children????

We all have a different view of what is best for our kids. Some think independence is the key. Some think 'micromanaging' is what's best. There's no one solution that will work for every parent, and most importantly child.

This post is not meant to be directed toward one culture/ethnicity, but being of an ethnic background and observing it consistently, I can only speak on what I know.

Raise your OWN damn kids. Your mama shouldn't raise 'em. Your grandmama shouldn't raise 'em. Your oldest child should not raise their siblings. Your auntie shouldn't raise 'em. Your godmama shouldn't raise 'em. Of course there is a flip side to these comments. I certainly do not want to knock any mother who had a child, while young or grown, and needed support, as long as she DID most of the child-rearing with her fam and friends as SUPPORT. If you are leaving your kids to go to the club every chance you get, sitting around someone else's house allowing your kids to run rampant in someone else's home, doing nothing to maintain or elevate yourself, abusing substances, in and out of jail....you get my point, this is for you.

I find it to be the most extreme act of selfishness to burden a so-called loved one with your child. They most likely have raised their own children, and probably the next generation of children. How can a parent feel this is OK? They've done their time. This is their time to enjoy their grandchildren as a grandparent only can- visit, spoil 'em, and send 'em back. Some grandparents are not able to be grandparents. They are the mother and grandmother and father and grandfather. But the latter is not visible to most. All we see is this man and/or woman raising their grandchild. These men and women have worked hard all their lives to get to a place they can now selfishly enjoy what they want, when they want. A time much deserved. Then to snatch a lifetime of hard work and future enjoyment right from under them, with no qualms, I might add, is repulsive.

I call it a sense of entitlement. I'm not sure how it's developed or why, but these young men and women of today, feel entitled to everything you got! And that's all good, but feel entitled to something YOU worked towards. Like I am entitled to have feelings about someone stealing from me. I worked hard for what I have earned and no one has the right to take a thing from me (except the US government, so I've been told). A grandparent is entitled to having feelings about her child or grandchild infringing on her future. He/She has worked hard to get to that point and is entitled to enjoy the fruits of his/her labor. What are you bringing to the table? A baby? No job? No education? No initiative? No respect? No appreciation? No plan? You got nothing.

Step up, regardless of your circumstances!!!! Do right by your child. Mother or father your child like that's the only child you will ever be able to have. Nurture your children. TV can't do it for you. Teach your children respect and manners. Keep a child in a child's place. As my mama used to say, "Stay out of grown folks business." These children are exposed to too many adult conversations and adult problems. The things I hear some kids repeat is shameful. But a lot of people think it's funny or 'cute'. Whateva, man. It shows, no it proves, you are NOT doing your job as a parent. It shows you are allowing others to indirectly and directly raise your children.

Set boundaries for yourself. Determine what you will and will not accept in your and your children's lives. Not every relationship is good for you and/or your children. There may be some serious ties you may have to break in order to push forward. It may your be your child's father/mother, it may your own mother/father. It will not be easy, but something MUST be done.

Take the time to nurture your child. Read to and with them. Check their homework EVERY night, and if you don't understand it- GOOGLE IT! There is a tutorial for everything. Get them involved. I am a firm believer in keeping your children involved in some sort of activity to keep them off the streets or minimize contact with unsavory characters. I know, I know, money is an issue. But this is the time you step up as a parent and S.A.C.R.I.F.I.C.E. Look for free services and I mean LOOK, cause they are out there! Nothing is going to come to you, GO GET IT! Especially when it comes to your children.

And nothing may come free, so....DISCONNECT THE CABLE, SACRIFICE THE NAILS AND DO 'EM YOURSELF, LEARN HOW TO DO YOUR OWN HAIR, and you DO NOT NEED NAME BRAND EVERYTHING! Stop living beyond your means and live within them. You can still have the best if you learn to budget and stop being so excessive. Always want to do AT LEAST one step better for your children than your parents did for you.

And please, don't forget to express appreciation to every person that has helped and supported you.

How to Get Out of Your Own Way by Tyrese Gibson

First, I must say- GET IT and READ IT! Those that know me well, know I don't run out and advocate for anything, but I am at a time in my life where change, within myself, is necessary. This book actaully inspired me to start this blog, to discuss this book and any other books or forms of media that have inspired you in a positive manner.

This book focuses on clarity and being truthful with yourself, which most of reject because we cannot handle it. It's true and real and easy to understand. Either you accept it or you don't. I am in the process of changing and growing, which will not happen overnight. I am in the process of becoming a better woman and role model for my children. I am in the process of acknowledging and accepting my weaknesses, while developing a strategy to strengthen and use them positively. I am in the process of not allowing my surroundings to dictate who I am. I am in the process of weeding out the negative people in my life. I am in the process of establishing boundaries and guidelines.

I am in the process of being me.

The me of 8, 9, 10 years old. The carefree, considerate me. The truthful me. The me that argues and stands up for the right purpose. The me that can easily let go of what's unnurturing. The pure me.

It's s difficult road, but a road trip I CANNOT turn down! So tell me, HOW DO YOU GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY???